Sarkar Raj: A Dream Come True!!!

I came home from the theatre and slept.

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I was showed way into the room and as I entered, the lights went out! In the dark room, I heard a female voice: ‘This is the exactly why I want the power plant project to be real!’ From my experience of having watched umpteen films, I could recognize the voice. Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan continued: ‘Dad! Do something for Maharashtra!’

Someone lit the candle and I could see Aish sitting along with Mr. Amitabh Bachchan and Mr. Ram Gopal Varma. A tall man stood in the shadows near the window. Before I could recognize him, Amitabh responded to Aish’s concern: ‘Look Aish beta! See outside the window, the street lights are on. The power-cut is only in Ramu’s house! Not for the entire Maharashtra! What Ramu? Don’t you have money to pay the current bill?’ And added his typical: ‘Aihhh!!!’

Ramu’s head was bowed down. I felt he was feeling ashamed of his poverty. But he suddenly came into senses when Aish pinched him to respond. Oh! He was just dozing!

Having opened his eyes completely, Ramu saw me. He showed me the empty chair and in the dark, I somehow managed to find the seat under my butt.

Like Shahrukh hams, Amitabh growls! And with a growl in his baritone, he asked me: ‘Kaisa chal raha hai sab kuch!’ Hearing his terribly terrific voice, I got terrified and just mustered the courage to nod my head.

Ramu asked me: ‘Ab kya?’

Me: Ramu ji, I want to ask you a few questions on the just released Sarkar Raj!
Ramu: Go ahead!
Me: In your pre-release interviews, you have mentioned that while making ‘Aag’, you have been influenced by many opposing forces and could not make what you actually intended to. What about ‘Sarkar Raj’? Didn’t you have any opposing forces against you this time?
Ramu: Nope.
Me: And yet you ended up making something like this!
Aish looked at Amitabh and Amitabh in turn, glanced over his shoulder at the man in the shadow. Oops! I haven’t yet recognized that man! I saw him somewhere; but before I could recognize him, I heard Ramu’s voice.
Ramu: What do you mean?
Me: Nothing! Let me get to my next question.
Ramu: But what do you……
Me: Ramu ji! Why is it that all the people around the Nagre family are shown to be betrayers? Even his most loyal servants are shown to be negative. Wouldn’t it leave a bad taste among the audience with respect to trusting people around them?
Ramu: I advise no one to trust anyone in this world.
Me: Ok Ramu ji! I will try to heed to your advice. Coming to my next question… this is quite related to my personal opinion…..
Ramu: Don’t hesitate! Go ahead!
Me: In 2006, when you scraped your film with Mr. Shahrukh Khan, you gave a statement that, directing Shahrukh is like going back to school. And then, the very next year, you made three consecutive debacles, the most prominent of those being, RGV ki Aag. After that, as your ardent admirer, I wished you really go back to school. I sincerely wished it. I really wanted you to get back to your basics. But while watching Sarkar Raj, I was dissapointed when your sub-plots seemed so half-baked. I observed that your screenplay was the weakest factor in the film. It lacked a proper story-stucture and emphasised much on Sarkar’s self-proclamation and self-justification. And Shankar Nagre repeats about doing ‘good’ for Maharashtra. It sounded very pretentious. Instead had the screenplay focussed on the problems prevailing in Maharashtra, Shankar’s anguish might have sounded justifiable. By avoiding the problems, your screenplay threaded the path of escapism and indulged into shallow heroism tactics. And, I somehow felt that by ignoring these basics taught at school, you are actually spoling your own craft. Am I missing anything while thinking all this?
Ramu: Yes!
I waited for sometime, expecting him to continue. But he didn’t! Then I realised, that he actually answered the last part of my long question. That’s how his films often carry short answers for long questions; and long answers, for no question at all!!!
I moved to my next question.

Me: Your actors in Sarkar Raj are brilliant! Be it the Bachchan trio, or Dilip Prabhawalkar, or Upendra Limaye, each and every actor was brilliant in their respective performances. But their good acting is let down by weak characterisations. Except for Somji’s character, none of the characters and the character-turns was genuine. Too much of ‘thick-outlining’ gives away the authenticity, especially when this caricaturing happens even to the lead characters. Too many close-up shots were a strain to the eyes. And also, why is Shankar Nagre against listening a complete line which his father tells. Before his father could complete a line, he cuts him short with some serious, self-boasting and over-confident reply. Is it the laziness of your writers to complete the dialogue?
Ramu: Nope. My writers have written complete dialogues. But I wanted Shankar to show some arrogance.
Me: Arrogance! And on his father, who served several years before him! Is this kind of shallow arrogance your definition of heroism?
Ramu: Next question!
Hmm….. I can understand! I am getting you, Ramu!!!!

Me: There is a belief among your fans that, you make ‘different’ films. Though I often fail to understand what was different in your films, I have chosen to believe that you don’t get into mushy melodramas which are made by some chief production houses. But given that, those film-makers make a mediocre product by copying their own previous successes, don’t you think that your films too are mediocre as most of the elements are copied from your previous films? How do you justify this mediocrity in your films?
He got uncomfortable in his chair, thought for a long time and uttered the following….
Ramu: I don’t understand your question.
Me: Ok sir! I will move ahead……. In your blog, you have mentioned that you want your characters to be subtle and restrained in their expressions; and that you hate people who lose their restraint. So you hate charaters which cry often, like in our mushy Bollywood melodramas!
Ramu: Yes! In my opinion, such crying and weeping films are made by gay people.
Me: But in the last 15 minutes of the film, at the end of every dialogue which Amitabh utters, a tear is shown to flow from Aish’s eyes….. a dialogue, a tear…. a dialogue, a tear! Why the change in treatment? Anything to do with the association with Ekta Kapoor! Or is it anything to do with your own gay shades?
He tried to be as restrained as possible, trying very hard to prove his manhood!
Ramu: Nope. It’s just that Aish is a woman and women can cry. But men shouldn’t. He who cries is not a man.
Me: Then in the last 5 mins of the film, Amitabh too lets down multiple flows of unstopping tears. Does it signify his loss of manhood?
Now Amitabh got agitated and growled in his masculine heavy barritone.
Amitabh: Aiihh!!!! This fellow writes something in his blog, and now you drag me into it? Aiihh!!!
Me: That isn’t my concern, sir! I just wanted to know how different is the weeping shown in Karan Johar films, compared to that shown in Ramu ji’s films. Ok! Anyway, I will move to my next question…

Me: Having watched the film last night, I sensed the story having parallelism to the real scenario surrounding the Bachchan family. Is it true or was I reading too much between the lines?
Ramu smiles for the first time, that too, a proud smile.
Ramu: You are right!
Me: Can you please state the scenarios which were depicted in the film?
Ramu: One is very obvious: Somji, simulating Raj Thakerey!
Me: Yes sir! The actor who played the role was brilliant! He was a perfect antagonist in the first half. Almost similar to Mr. Kay Kay Menon’s role in Sarkar!
Ramu: Yes! The actor is Rajesh Shringarpore! He is a very good stage-actor.
Me: Then, the next real scenario?
Ramu: Guess!
Me: Congress?
Ramu: Yup! Rao-saab’s character represented the Congress party, which has been against the Bachchan’s for very long.
Me: Sarkar during his self-proclamation, utters ‘maine apni jindagi, apni sharthon pe jiya hai’, meaning that Subhash Nagre lived his life according to his own terms. Then in that case, isn’t it contrasting to show Subhash Nagre relying on Rao-saab’s blessings?
Ramu: Hmm.. a good catch! We somehow missed this, but our intension was to show that the Bachchan family was close to the Gandhi family before they parted ways owning to political friction.
Me: Ramu ji! A personal question related to the Congress party! Do you think Mr. Mohan Das Karamchand Gandhi, also known as Mahatma Gandhi, is the man behind the ongoing, and probably an everlasting, political chaos in our country?
Ramu: No comments!
Me: Ok! The next….
Before Ramu could answer that, I changed the question.
Me: By the way, there is this assassin in the film who wears gloves, carries a bag and is hired to kill Shankar Nagre. Why wasn’t his face shown to the audience?
Now Aish pops up in between with her thin-like-her voice.
Aish: Because Shahrukh’s fans may not accept it!
I was startled!
Me: What?
The three of them looked at each other and looked at me with an obvious pride of having known the identity of the assassin; and moreover, me not knowing it!
Ramu: That is exactly the third real scenario.
Me: Pardon me! I don’t get you!
Aish: What does Shahrukh wear in his film Don?
Me: Gloves!
Ramu: What does he carry with him?
Me: A briefcase!
Ramu: Or a bag!
Me: Ok! I get the clues!
Though I sounded to be convinced, I heard Amitabh.
Amitabh: What is the prize money amount in Shahrukh’s latest flop show?
Me: 5 crores.
Amitabh gets a naughty smile on his face as Ramu takes over…..
Ramu: Exactly the amount which the assassin asks for to kill Shankar Nagre.
I raise my doubt.
Me: But why Shahrukh?
Ramu: In a nut-shell, the story is something like this. Amitabh maintained his stardom for such a long time and wanted to pass the mantle to Abhishek. But the opposing Congress party has hired Shahrukh to castle Abhishek and now, Abhishek is no where left in the game. So Amitabh has taken Aish into his family to maintain stardom, until his grandson grows up to conquer Bollywood. And that’s how Shahrukh’s character is part of Sarkar Raj.
Aish with her finger pointing me, warned: Mind you, this entire Shahrukh thing must be off the records.
Me: Yes, Ma’m!

Me: So Ramu ji! This whole film turns out to be a political reply to all those opposing the Bachchan family. To get further into this…..
Amitabh: Aiihh!! Stop!! You are going too much in-depth. Why can’t you ask how much of a good response we are getting for the film… how it’s been appreciated by many people? Why can’t you ask such questions? Aiihh!!!!
I hesitated to respond, but somehow mustered my courage……
Me: That’s because, I don’t ask stupid questions.

Then I heard the man in the shadow speak: Tho, (as a journalist), tumhara jinda rakne ka faiyda kya hai?
Having said that, he came forward (to visibility). Yes, Now I recognized him. It was Mr. Abhishek Bachchan.

And then, he pulled out a gun and pointed at me. Amitabh gave a scary stare, Ramu bowed down his head to continue his slumber and Aish lifted the tea cup to take a sip. And the background score stammered everlastingly…..

‘Govinda! Govinda! Govinda!........’

And I was shot::::::: ‘jhhiskaaaaaaaaaammmmm’

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I suddenly woke up in my bed. Oops!

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The above review is written to be in sync with the film: half-baked, mostly meaningless and disappointing. My sincere apologies to those who have felt bad at some points of this write-up!
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