Divorce

That day it was my second date with my fiancé after our engagement. The first time we met, I was too engrossed in the melodrama of the film, that I could not ask her much. But she came to know about me, that I am a film-freak and I like crying with my favorite heroine. From then, in every call out of the umpteen calls she made to me, she has got one common comment: “Why does Kajol cry so much?” Everytime she teased me, I hated more, the distance that separated us. And that day, on our second date, we walked along the beach road.
Expecting a positive reply from her, I asked: “How much do you trust me?”
“A bit!” She was frank enough to keep me far from self-satisfaction. I waited for her to justify.
“All I trust in you is your sincerity in impressing me. But I need more time to trust you completely.” She was quite. Even I was. And may be she was hurt for that.
“I expect you to be frank, when I am.”
“And I expect you be complete in your expression rather than giving statements.” I was serious. She hesitated, but set forth:
“I don’t know much of your perception, but in general, women expect a little too much from life. And most of them end up in dissatisfaction. I know this woman who had a discontented childhood, because in her days, daughters are given lesser importance in families. She had an eye of an artist. She could not stop herself from dreaming about doing something great. So when she was getting married, she had a very high expectation of fulfilling her dreams after marriage. But life after marriage was otherwise. Her husband did not allow her to pursue anything where she could earn an appreciation. His egoistic thoughts made matters worse for her. Additionally, his narrow-minded-ness made her keep every expression unleashed. With thoughts unexpressed, she ended up being a frustrated woman and now she doesn’t have an idea of how beautiful and exciting life can be. That’s what marriage has done to her: a psychological damage. Though it may seem foolish on her part for not protesting against her husband, in most cases it is not practical for women, especially of her generation, to retort back.”
“And before you ask me who that woman is, I would confess that I was talking about….” She paused. “…my Mother”.
“Having grown up around her depressed life, I trust nothing so easily. I do mingle with a lot of people; but I feel no one trust-worthy. I have accepted to this marriage with you, because it is a part of life. You are handsome. You are socially and financially settled. But problems will arise and there is no other option. I accept everything from now itself. And the trust on you depends on how you manage to ‘impress me’ amidst those problems.” While telling the last sentence, she could not stop a teasing smile across her lips.

That night I thought over everything she expressed. Though on one side, I was unable to accept her forward-thinking, on the other side, I was thinking about a solution for women in such kind of situations. The next day, I could not stop myself from calling her, “Shall we meet at Ohri’s this evening?”

“If you don’t mind, I would like to ask you something about Aunty?”
She stared at me; and I don’t know if she has answered to my question, but I could not stop myself. “Why didn’t she think about Divorce?”
Without diverting her stare even a bit, she retorted back, “Will you think about the same, if you are unhappy with me after marriage?”
I couldn’t answer. I was confused. And a few moments passed away without a word between us. We moved out and walked along the beach.
Both of us looked at the sun dipping into the horizon. She spoke like only both of us heard: “If destiny had separation in any of its rooms, the institution of marriage had never been come up. Our sages are not so ignorant about the future when they had decided on this. There should be some other way out of the problems that arise in marriage. Divorce is just an escape. It solves no problems, but in general it adds to the problems. This, I am telling after umpteen times of thinking over the same. I feel most problems come because of the expectation on the unknown future or expectation on the unknown person. And expectation is the result of trusting someone without knowing completely his/her expectation. And I would not make that mistake by trusting you completely from now itself. I would take some time; anyway, we have a lot of time ahead.” After a few pauses, she asked, “Ok! Now tell me, how much do you trust me?” I wanted to say, ‘Yes’; but just ended up smiling. Both of us continued walking along the beach, hand-in-hand.